[초등첨삭 11탄] 내 아이 영어작문 실력은? > 초등영어 게시판

아래의 컨텐츠는 초등학생이 직접 작성한 영어작문을 원어민 선생님이 실제로 첨삭지도 한 내용입니다.
또래 아이들의 영어작문 결과를 통해 내 아이 작문기초도 살~작 엳보는 기회로 활용하세요.

[작문 주제입니다]

What kinds of stories are well-known in your country? Write about a popular story you know.

[학생이 작성한 Essay 원문이며 빨간표시는 원어민 선생님이 첨삭(수정)한 부분입니다]

1. hengbu and 2. Nolbu. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Hengbu and Nolbu 3. was families.
4. But Nolbu was 5. betraya.
6. So 7. hengbu 8. was 9. homeless people.
10. But 11. lottery 12. was helped 13. hengbu.
14. SO 15. henbu 16. was 17. reach and Nolbu 18. was 19. homeless people.
20. hengbu 21. was happiness life!!!
22. THE End

[원어민 선생님의 유혈별 첨삭내용이며 어떻게 써야 더 알맞은 표현인지 알 수 있는 대목입니다]

Spelling/철자 15. henbu : Hengbu 17. reach : rich,
Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/관사 11. lottery : the lottery
Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/전치사
Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/접속사 4. But : However, 6. So : That is why 10. But : However, 14. SO : Then
Grammar_Capitalization/대소문자 1. hengbu : Hengbu 2. Nolbu. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . : Nolbu 7. hengbu : Hengbu 13. hengbu : Hengbu 20. hengbu : Hengbu 22. THE : The
Grammar_Conjugation/동사변화활용 12. was helped : helped
Grammar_Punctuation/부호사용
Essay Format_Sentence Structure/문장의 구성 9. homeless people : homeless 19. homeless people : homeless 21. was happiness : had a happy
Essay Format_inappropriate Words/단어사용 적절성 3. was families : were relatives 5. betraya : a traitor (?) 8. was : became 16. was : became 18. was : became

[학생이 작성한 작문에 대해 원어민 선생님이 아래와 같이 코멘트를 남겨 주셨네요]

I have never heard that story before. It would have been better if you had added more details. Anyway, thank you for trying to share the story. However, it would be best that you learn more about the basic sentence patterns. It would also be good that you review the parts of an essay. An essay has an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. In addition, the paragraphs should have at least five sentences each, and make sure to put a space between the paragraphs. Use a thesaurus, a dictionary, and the web, or ask your teacher if you are not sure which word to use, or about the spelling of a word. Instead of beginning your sentences with conjunctions, use words or phrases like "however", "in addition", and "that is why". Review the use of articles and prepositions. Remember to always capitalize proper nouns. Write again!

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